Monday, December 7, 2009

This Entry Aint going to be pretty!!!!

Here I am as a first timer in the "Chemo Room"
I love to have a positive attitude because I think it is the most important drug you can have while dealing with cancer. But as I sit here in the car, medicated and still reliving todays events in my mind, I decided to go with a blunt tactic because I had a very scary experience and leaving it out would be like trying to fool all my friends and loved ones. We don't want that now!
So, here's the skinny: Today was a long day and my first chemotherapy session so to say the least I was very scared. I couldn't get to sleep last night, which was o.k. because my crazy older sister goes shopping at midnight--- did I mention she is one spunky crazy gal?!! So I snuck out of bed after making sure Morgan was soundly asleep (the poor man needs all the sleep he can get while dealing with me lately). So at midnight I snuck out with my big sis and we headed off to Walmart. We shopped and we talked and then we talked some more and finally went to bed at 3:30am. It was wonderful and I loved talking to her just like the old days.
Today I had a MUGGA scan at 8:30am, this scan is a scan of my heart because one of the medicines they are putting into me during chemo is hard on my heart. The scan lasted about two and a half hours and we then had to eat and go to my chemo session.

When we entered the waiting room it was PACKED and as you sat there waiting, I couldn't help but think, "You have to wait to be tortured, ....interesting!"

When they finally brought me back to my lovely recliner and hooked everything into me, the business of chemo began. The first medicine was two syringes of kool-aide looking liquid that they pushed through the IV. This is the medicine that gets rid of your hair pretty fast and I am sure has a lot of other good purposes that have to do with combatting cancer. Oh, and you pee red for a couple of days.... interesting! Then we were onto the next medicine, a 1 hour drip that was fine and I didn't feel any effects or anything. Becuase I was craving Mesa Frozen Yogurt, I had Morgan go and make a FroYo run while I was doing this medicine. So, then they got ready to begin the third medicine and the nurse begins by saying that less than 20% of the people taking this medicine have allergic reactions. WARNING FLAG: Lately, I have been beating all odds when it comes to "statistics", for example: six months ago when I had my first biopsy, it was 99% accurate and it said I had no cancer, example 2: The nurses assured me that I didn't have cancer, because cancerous lumps don't hurt... wrong again. Example 3: Right after my excisional biopsy on October 28th the surgeon came out into the waiting room and told Morgan that it looked just like he thought, not cancerous at all. um...wrong. Example 4: The surgeon who was telling me I had cancer, three days after example #3, told me that it didn't make sense. I didn't have any of the factors they looked for.. no family history of cancer, too young, breast-fed four kids, the works. But we all know how that turned out. Example #5: When my cancer surgeon was feeling my lymphnodes before surgery, she said, "I don't feel any enlarged lymhnodes, so I am pretty sure it hasn't spread into the lymphnodes. wrong again: They had to take all of my lymhnodes out on the left side because 8 of them were cancerous.

As I am calculating all of these examples of "beating the statistics" in my head, the nurse is still droning on about how the reaction will take place, if you have a reaction. In the first 15 minutes of getting the drip, you will have trouble breathing, your back may hurt, etc... So Morgan and I ate our frozen yogurt and sat and talked as they began the drip. Pretty soon, Morgan said, "wow, 10 minutes have gone by... I guess you finally beat the odds." No sooner had these words escaped his mouth, I suddenly couldn't breathe... And I mean suddendly! One second I was bringing a spoonful of yogurt to my lips and the next second, I could only see floating things in front of my face and no air was making it in or out. Morgan saw the fear spread across my face and he got the nurses over to me quick. By this time, I was gasping and my back felt like it was splitting in half. Everywhere hurt and the nurses were buzzing around me like bees. They gave me oxygen, tried to flush out my body of the medicine, and when that didn't work, they used some sort of "antivenum" to get it out of me. It was definitley a top five on my list of scary moments in my life. the nurse then commented to me after about a half hour of stabilizing my body that I had one of the worst reactions they have seen with that medicine. Nobody got me an award or anything! He!He! My blood pressure had dropped to 73 over 51 and I was sweating like I had just run a mile. They pumped me full of saline for quite a while and then finally released me. All I wanted to do was to get home!!! So Morgan and I got in the car and we headed towards our warm sanctuary in Bagdad.
Now, you have the true story of how my first chemo trip was and today as I reflect back... I am just glad it is over. (Half of this blog entry was written yesterday and half today). I am having a good day today.... I am exhausted, have a headache and am a bit scared of eating any food, but all in all, I am just happy to be home and back in my "magic recliner".
I love you all and felt so many prayers as I went to my first chemo trip, thank you so much for your love!!!! Love is so important!!!


Anonymous said...

That's quite a scary experience Christa. Glad to see that you are doing so well today. Keep up the positivity and we'll keep the prayers going.

nickndest said...

Sorry that happened. Glad your feeling ok today. Thinking about and you.

Bonnie Hynes said...

Geeze Christa...poor you and poor morgan! Now they know not to do that again, and at least next treatment will be minus the drama! When do you get your followup shot? Love you, and you are right about laughter being a medicine...You'd better ask morgan to do his 5th tuesday dance (imitation of my dad doing a front-kicking hand bouncing thing...very funny)

sueannbrice said...

Oh, I forgot about the heart test, I had a echocardio something, but your right some of that damages your heart, but not always, keep happy thoughts, they also told me the meds they gave me also caused leukemia. That was exciting news. hmmm. one down!!!!happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts SueAnn

Alexis said...

Oh Christa!! I can't believe you had that horrible reaction! How very scary for you and Morgan (and apparently for the nurses). It's ironic, I just finished reading some e-mails from a friend in basic training who is getting pretty beat up there but he, like you, remians positive through it all and even shares that his testimony is strengthened. Amazing. His latest e-mail said, "The brain truly is an amazing organ and so is the rest of the body. I truly am impressed that I can do the things required of me here. Humans really can adapt." I hope that you feel the same way, that you continue to feel the Strength of our's and the Lords love:)

Dana and Tiff said...

You know Christa you don't HAVE TO beat ALL the CAN lie low and just stick to the majority...but NO, you have to go and be different!! :) I am glad that you are doing well in spite of all the scary drama...did I mention that you are my hero! You are such an amazing woman!! Love ya!!

Farr Family said...

Christa- you keep on amazing me. You have such a strong, determined, positive attitude. You are so much better than me. We love you lots!! You are always in our prayers. Thanks for being an example to me!!! Love ya- Kimberly

annebabe said...

I thought about you all day yesterday and today. :) Today at the kids' school there was bumper sticker on a truck that said, "Cancer sucks" pretty true, eh? Glad you didn't sugar coat your 1st chemo experience, don't feel you have to put on a happy face just for us. If you want to be blunt, go for it! I'm going to be blunt and tell you I think you're freaking amazing. :)

Aus Kiwi said...

Christa, you inspire me. You inspire me to hang in there and keep a positive attitude no matter what is happening. You inspire me to see every day as a gift. You inspire me to see the brighter side of life when things aren't going well, and to laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Love from the Gelfis

Shelly said...

How are you feeling these days? I hope your first round wasnt too bad for you. About that patch-it was a life saver. Im just sad that I didnt find it until #5. I will Find out the name and then let you know-i might even have a few left. Im sooo sorry about your reaction. How scary is that? They are such good nurses down there and it seems that they took good care of you! Well, I hope you are feeling better and are able to enjoy some sick free time. Keep up the positive attitude!! Its only for a short time and in the end it will only be a distant memory. Good luck!! Please, feel free to call anytime!