Thursday, November 6, 2008

Why mom's need naps!!!

O.K. everything that transpires in these pictures took place in less than a two hour span of time. This is a little look into the life of a 2 1/2-year-old boy! This isn't for the weak of heart, or those that are afraid of poop!

This story begins at 12:30pm Arizona time on Thursday, November 6th. The characters are the mom played by Christa Johnson and the "Terrible Two Monster" played by himself, Will Johnson. The scene opens with Mom and son at the table making cookies for Cub Scout activity that evening. The recipe is very messy and calls for rolling dough into a ball and then rolling it into powdered sugar and sticking it on a pan. Two-year-olds love mess so Will is in his element.

o.k. I have to switch to first person because it is too hard to tell the story in third person, I am too close to the situation. You could say that I am "personally vested" in this story.

Anyhow, I showed him how to roll the dough in the powdered sugar all the while saying "roll it, roll it, roll it" and then showed him how to place said dough on pan. He really got into it and kept repeating over and over "roll it, roll it, roll it," which sounded more like "row it! row it!" This goes on for a while and we are getting happily messy and I begin to take pictures. Pretty soon, Will sees his shovel on the ground and leaps from the chair, grabs his shovel and heads out the back door yelling "I dig rocks!"

I turn to put pans in oven and wash a few dishes. Pretty soon Will comes in to show me a rock he has found. I tell him to put it back outside and get back to dishes. Pretty soon I hear "row it, row it, row it" I turn to see him rolling more dough in the powdered sugar. "Will we are done, no more rolling." I come over to see what he is up to and low and behold, he is rolling a rock in the powdered sugar and looking content as ever. I expain the difference between rocks and dough and take the rock away to the backyard. He is very messy, so we opt for a bath.

Will takes a bath and washes up and plays with his Hot Wheels in the tub. I get him out to dry him off and say, "let's get a diaper on." and turn to grab one. But Will is nowhere to be found, he heard the word "diaper" and is off like a shot eager for his freedom. He runs straight out into the backyard and hides behind a tree. Can you see his cute little legs poking out? What a silly kiddo! I try chasing him, but he hides again and again and runs away. I give up chasing him, leave the door open and tell him that when he gets cold, he can come inside. (this shouldn't take long considering the weather today). I head back in to take cookies out of the oven. I set the diaper down, pull out a pan of cookies and hear Will coming up behind me running with something in his hand. "Will, what are you doing?" Will quickly responds "Put in toilet" and starts to run down the hall. "Will, put what in the toilet? I hope you don't have another rock!" His quick responce is "poopy in toilet." Now I am running over to see what he has in his hand and when I catch him, he has a nice size deposit of poop in his hand and was going to go flush it down the toilet. He had pooped outside and knew that poop needed to be in the toilet, hence the mad dash. Oh boy!!!! "Back in the tub Will!"

Will gets out of the tub again and this time I am much better at wrangling the Diaper Ditcher. I pull another batch of cookies out of the oven and go to remove an odd shaped cookie in the middle of the pan amist the other cookies. Oh look, a powdered sugar covered rock! How delightful, and fully cooked might I add. Yummy! Maybe the Cub Scouts wouldn't even notice! He! He!

Soon, Will marches in with just his diaper on and carries three different sized stools with him, one at a time. I watch wondering what will come of this. He lines them up in a row and carefully goes from one to the next until he reaches his desired destination; watching the canaries in their cage. (At least he didn't let them out today like he did two days ago, they aren't easy to catch you know, well, at least I know...)

I make him a sandwich and chips for a late lunch. He eats two chips and gets down and takes off. I catch him a few minutes later and take him to his bed and lock him in his room. (I know it is mean, but if he doesn't see me lock the door at nap time, he just leaves).

Now he is a perfect angel, blonde and beautiful with long eyelashes and a perfect expression of happiness on his pale face.... Me on the other hand, I think my hair is going in all different directions, I have chocolate all over my clothes, (at least that is what I hope it is...) and I still need to get ready for Cub Scouts tonight and oh no, it is time to pick up Sarah from Kindergarten..... What happened to MY naptime??????


Grama Karen and Papa Lund said...

Yippee! We get to make the first comment. After reading your narrative and seeing the pictures we feel like we spent the morning at your house with you and Will. Thanks for sharing.
Sister Mom Karen and Elder Papa Lund

bek said...

i'm butt hurt. i left a wonderfully witty comment on here yesterday and it apparently got lost in cyberspace. dang! well what i was basically going to say is i'm glad that is a rock and not poop on the cookie sheet. i'm also glad that when will lined up all those "stools", that it was step stools. and thirdly, and most importantly; next time you need to make cookies, i must come over and help so the boys are occupied together, rather than in the sugar. ;)

annebabe said...

loved your creative writing exercise. oopps, i mean, blog post. ;) and i feel like grama karen and papa lund, like i was at your house this morning. i loved it! and i am sooo glad that it was a rock on the cookie tray and not . . . well, i can only imagine what an oven must smell like if "that" gets baked. :)

The Davenports said...

hahaha! Christa seriously...your blog is such entertainment to me. Are you glad your chaotic life brings me pleasure?? :) When I was reading it I was so scared you were going to say when you took the cookies out of the oven there was poop on it!! Good thing!