Sunday, March 13, 2011

My commentary on EVERYTHING... better known as...why Sarah doesn't like vanilla pudding anymore!

It is 1:30am and Morgan isn't awake to hear my commentaries about.... EVERYTHING. So, that leaves you..   How lucky you are!!!! Now, why am I awake at 1:30am?
a) My sick 12-year-old is still awake...
b) I didn't take my sleeping pill because I figured I wouldn't need them now that I am off the evil Xeloda chemo med...... I think I may have been wrong.... or less than right..... (because I am NEVER wrong)
c) I am a wee bit stubborn... just a wee!!

Alright, onto the Late, Late Night Show with Christa Johnson....(I am still waiting to sign a contract...hummm)

Isn't this amazing???? This is what I saw when I walked into my backyard this evening. It turns out, my 10-year-old son has been playing with physics behind my back.... what a horrible child... he he he
Today I took the boys to the public library and Will was sooo excited because I told him he was old enough to get a card. (and keep it in Mom's purse). Lund was sooo thrilled because he could check out books like this.....Physics for kids.... really???? This cannot be my son!!! I was so scared of physics and chemestry in high school that I took Earth Science two consecutive years hoping the administration wouldn't catch the glitch. Luckily, my teacher was also one of my coaches, so I was in the clear.
But, to seek out this knowledge ON PURPOSE just baffles me!!!!
And look how excited he is.... about Physics!!!
And even his younger brother is wondering what is going on...(by the way, there were almost a few broken toes/feet with this hammer/string action going on. But all in the name of physics.)
And this is the other book Lund checked out.. ON PURPOSE!!! SERIOUSLY!! Second only to science would be math in my book. Where did this boy come from?
Lund came into the room for scriptures and prayer tonight muttering 3.14159265 and I commented ....."Rainman, what are you muttering?" 
Lund responded, "Oh mom, I am just reciting pi."
Seriously, who knows pi? (I am not sure why this is all in bold, but seriously, who knows pi!!???)

Next commentary: This is as close as my kids got to "being outside" for the last few days because we have contracted the deadly Influenza A flu (a little redundant because influenza is a long, fancy name for the "flu") I know, TMI.
O.K. so the flu isn't deadly, but you sure would think it is hearing these kiddos moan and groan. Or maybe that was just me after being grounded in the house for 5 days 14 hours and 12 minutes!!
Today, the boys were "not contagous" anymore so I made a mad dash for my car and we hit a softball scrimmage, only to find out that the softball scrimmage was two hours earlier, so we hit the next best thing..the library followed by Happy Meals afterward. (Yes, I know Happy Meals are full with cancer causing stuff... just give me a break o.k!!!)
And on to my next commentary: Smore's, Christa-style! We decided to shake things up a bit tonight at our family Weenie Roast and Smore's fun. I just got all the desert-style stuff we had out of the pantry and we made up our own treats. There wasn't too much in the "treat" department at our house because my parents had brought a whole pan of brownies merely 23-hours before, but I had run upstairs to my closet and eaten the whole pan and growled at anyone who got near me. O.K. so it wasn't like that... but almost!!
Back to my smore's.... I took two fudge covered oreos and two perfectly roasted marshmallows and added two Andes mints in the middle to make it perfect!! Wahlllllaaaa. The best Smore's invention ever!! Hummm, maybe a brownie in the middle might have been nice too....
(Can you tell I have been a bit stressed this week?? I lost 13.8lbs in the last two months, and probably put it all back on in the space of 72 hours. New world record!!)
And this doesn't need much in the way of commentary.....
Will decided to make a "guy" out of his desert. And his "guy" is even riding a potato chip surfboard (not featured in this picture....scroll below for surfboard imagery). Isn't that great?! Plus, I think his dude is French because he has a fudge Oreo barret to top it all off!!!
And here is proof that we have snowmen here in Arizona! I even "burned" him some awesome hair, but you can't tell because of the angle!!
This picture (and my son, Will) speaks volumes...
And I told Lund that the only way I would be impressed with his little physics show is if my snowman can ride the ruler without falling...... So now I am impressed! That's my kind of physics!!
And here is one of my sick children still awake at 1am. I told her that if she was awake and watching a movie, that she might as well cut all those silly box top things that have been adding up in their jar for about a year. Crazily enough, after a half hour of that, she was finally able to go to sleep. Score one for mom!!!
And now onto the good stuff...... why Sarah hates vanilla pudding now......
You see, vanilla pudding is Sarah's favorite! So, when I couldn't get her to take her Tamiflu medicine. (p.s. I don't blame her because they ran out of the "kids version"  of  Tamiflu, so they just opened the pills up and poured them into a container with a bit of cherry flavoring.....yummy!!!)
So, now that you understand why she didn't want her medicine, let me get back to the story. This "special medicine" is not cheap! 20.00 a bottle times 5 people equals about a million dollars. (See, math is definitely my strong point!)
So, I got Sarah's syringe of medicine ready and then started trying to bribe her. After that didn't work, I started making instant pudding, which is her favorite. Will ran over to see what I was up to and saw the syringe of medicine sitting on the counter and thought it would be fun to "shoot" it across the room. Dang!
So, while Morgan was dealing with Will, I drew up another syringe full of fun and got the pudding ready. I told Sarah that she could just take the medicine really quick and then chase it down with vanilla pudding.
Alas, when I left the room, she thought she would be tricky and put the syringe full of medicine INTO the pudding and claimed that she didn't really want any pudding afterall.
Since I am not as dumb as I look, I told Sarah that now she had to finish ALL the medicine flavored pudding, because we sure as heck weren't wasting anymore of this precious medicine.
When she came in for scriptures and prayer about ten minutes later she said, "Mom, I don't like vanilla pudding anymore."

And here is a crazy thing that bugs me. Why on earth do they have to put William's name in parantheses. Is he not a "real" person. ....give "William" 3ml of medicine. Am I just going around destributing this nasty stuff to anyone. And all of the perscriptions were like this. How many imaginary kids would be lining up at your door for this lovely nector. It's not like you can get "high" off of gross flu medicine......
Just a thought!!  Sarah claims, "I would rather put a stick in my nose than take this medicine!!!" Eloquent speaker, she is!
                               And if I see another Scooby Doo movie, I am going to scream!! The guy at Blockbuster told me, "You must have a Scooby Doo enthusiast at home!"   (You have no idea Mr. idea!!)
And the 2:30am weather report shows that I will not be going to bed anytime soon because I have another sick kid downstairs and on the breathing machine. Hold onto your hats folks, it's going to be another long night of sickness and sleeping on the couch......
        p.s.s. We leave for our first ever cruise in 6 days. They won't let us board the ship if we have the Influenza sickness. So, let's wrap this up folks......The Mexican Riviera is calling my name!!!


Grama Karen and Papa Lund said...

I was very sorry to see your entry at 1:30 and then a continuation of it at 2:30am this morning. I have been since 3:00 with "flu" like discomfort.. so I can kind of relate. A lot difference though -- me having it and Karen having to nurse me than 2 kidsd having it and ME having to nurse them.
Cruise is on the horizon -- I hope I get to ge ON IT and not watch it sail away.

Bonnie Hynes said...

Cmon Johnsons, you can pull through this in time for the cruise! I would take your place, because im just that nice, but I can't, so you have to do it yourselves! Love you your awesome experiment Lund!

Erin said...

You are totally going to gain all that weight back (and then some) on that cruise. Yummy food, all you can eat, whenever you want!
And... I emailed you... did you get it?

Jeremy and Ruth said...

I have to comment back about the comment made on my blog... THANK YOU FOR THAT!!! Is it completely pathetic and demented that I am finding JOY in other people's pain? It just helps me know that it trully is the WORST pain EVER!!!! I may or may not have told Jeremy that I wanted to DIE! :) LOVE YOU!!!!

PS I love that you made her eat her pudding,
PSS I am sorry, but i think it is SOO funny that Will shot that medicine across the room :) I can totaly see that!! Tell him to fill it will water next time. :)

annebabe said...

woooo hooooo!!! Johnson cruise! You, my darling friend, are going to have the time of your life! Can't wait to hear all about it and see your pictures and be super jealous! Yep, should be good times. Get Well soon and cruise into feeling better. :)

ps- I eat brownies by myself in my closet all the time. and I growl too. and I don't have cancer or 4 sick kids. what does that make me?

Happy said...

Johnson clan. What a hoot your family is. I am glad that you are going to take that cruise. I have taken that one and it was wonderful. What cruise line are you going? What excursions are you taking? Is it just you and Morgan, or the entire family? If your youngins go, they will have a blast with the youth on the ship. You will be in great hands. Enjoy yourselves. You deserve it. One comment about fast food. Remember that it is ok to partake, but NOT all the time. You are doing wonderful with yourself and your family. Keep up the great work. We are pulling for you here.

Love you all;


Amber said...

Sorry everyone was catching the flu... and especially now that I know you didn't make it on the cruise. BUMMER.
On a happier note, your posts at 1:30am are really funny. Thanks for the laugh