Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Baldness (again....)

Hello all, this is going to be more of a journal entry really, but you can go ahead and listen in anyway!
I am sitting on the couch in our "temporary housing" with a blanket on my head because my head is very cold.. again!!! I was sooooo super excited that my hair was growing back again, even though it was baby fine. I finished my last chemo three weeks ago, so I figured I was in the clear. I figured wrong. A couple of days ago, my head started to hurt, my hair follicles really. (dejavu). And again the little bit of hair that I held so dear started to come out. I would have let it stay even with the falling out bit, but it was so blasted itchy. It felt like when you leave the salon after getting your hair cut and you just want nothing more than to run home and take a shower and wash all the poky hairs off of you. Well, tonight after my shower, I called Morgan into the bathroom and asked him to shave my head again. My tears mixed with the water as he faithfully shaved for nearly an hour to make sure it was done well. I don't know why, but this time it hurt so much more! I feel ugly! I feel like the cancer is trying to take away any beauty I once had! I sat here and watched Stephanie Nielson's Mormon Message called My New Life or The New Me or something..I forget. Anyway, she says an amazing quote on that beautiful message. She says, " I am not my body!" And that made me feel a whole lot better. Thank you Stephanie!
In other news, good news even, I went to my Oncologist today and he smiled and told me that I did an amazing job getting through chemo. He told me that I have my life ahead of me now.... Of course, I am not done seeing him, nor will I ever be, but I don't have to get my blood drawn every week, nor do I have to get poison dripped into my veins every three weeks. Great news!
Tomorrow I will meet again with my Radiation Doctor. Radiation will start next week and I will have 34 sessions so I will be doing that for 7 weeks. Then onto more reconstruction...etc. etc. But all in all, I am on the up and up now! Life is grand.... I just need to see myself as the Lord sees me.... As a beautiful daughter of God!!

7 comments:

Erin said...

You're amazing.

Grandma LeSueur said...

I love you, Christa! You are very brave. I never dreamed, watching you and Lauree as carefree kids, that you would go through such a huge ordeal at such a young age. My heart and prayers have been with you. I feel like I have been able to "keep in touch" with you through your blog, and you and Lauree seem like sisters to me. I'm sending a hug!! Got it?! Love, Pat LeSueur

runningfan said...

Wow, girl. And my ramblings about plants lifted your spirits?! :)

Team Caldwell said...

Yes indeedy you are one beautiful gal!

The Davenports said...

Yes, you ARE beautiful! You are so amazing and such a beautiful daughter of God....and such an example to me!

Grama Karen and Papa Lund said...

A beautiful Daughter of God and a beautiful daughter-in-law that we love and admire.
Love,
Mom and Dad

Kim said...

..::TEAR::.. Christa, I love you. I'm so glad you post all your stories on here. I love to read about you and your family, be it good or bad stuff. Now that you're in PHX maybe we can meet up sometime. I'm sure my kiddos would love to see yours. that is if you're up to it. Don't let life get you down. Remember the little things that make you happy. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS ONE THING...Heavenly Father loves you no matter how much hair you have, you are beautiful to him inside AND out! Email me sometime... Lil.kimmy1985@yahoo.com