Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Ode to Randomness...

As I sit here consumed with nausea from my chemo treatment yesterday, I thought I would take a few minutes to post about random things...
The first, and most important random thing is that we found out yesterday that my cancer is completely random, not hereditary. This is great news in so many different ways. This means that my sisters and mother and daughters will not need to be tested. This means that my ovaries can stay put. This means that Cassidy is releived that I didn't increase her chances of getting cancer by 50% (the statistic is entirely her quote, I am not sure when she conducted the study). It makes me very happy to get this news. It also leaves me with a lot of questions...like for instance "how did I get cancer?" The genetic counselor asked me right before she sent in my genetic test, "Do you have any clue why you have cancer?" I replied that maybe one month, deep in baseball season, I ate too many hot dogs in one month. Or maybe it is because I occasionaly drink out of plastic water bottles... or maybe my cell phone did it to me....or maybe.... the list could go on and on and on, but the bottom line is... No one really knows! That is what I thought, at least, until I re-read my patriarcal blessing from a loving Heavenly Father who knows me better than anyone else. I recieved this blessing when I was 14-years-old and it has been a great guide in my life. I will now quote from that blessing...." You have a very special opportunity in life to have a full and abundant life, Christa, so be always aware that even though there will be times when challenges come to you, remember somtimes the greatest blessings come in the form of challenges. When you have sickness or disappointments it will be an opportunity for you to become closer to the Lord. You can expect these things in your life but they will not remain a part of your life for you can quickly overcome them if you will stay close to the Lord, be humble, and prayerful." So, I have been told that this will just be a short season in my life, and I also have things that I need to do as well... be humble and prayerful. Humble is an easy emotion to reach when dealing with cancer because you lose your hair, pride, you name it... so being humble isn't hard. You just have to be humble the right way. that means that anger and frustration can't have a place in my heart.... there just isn't room for it in my heart. I also have to realize that this sickness can be a blessing in my life, if I let it! So let it I will!!!
So there is some randomness for ya!!! I have chemo brain today and it won't stay on track, so I think that will be enough for now! But truly, I love you all!! (I especially love Bonnie, my sister-in-law right now who is at this very moment, bathing my poopy 4-year-old....he he. Lucky her! She is here this week from Boise and what a blessing she is in my life, as you all are! )

10 comments:

Bonnie Hynes said...

wow, that Bonnie sounds like something else!! You guys should move to Boise so you can feel her love up close forever!!!!

Grama Karen and Papa Lund said...

Christ, Thanks for the testimony.
Love, Mom

Anonymous said...

WOW Christa, I just found your blog from a link you put up on Nie's. I too am have/had breast cancer at age 41(instead of 31). Only I was Her-2 positive and estrogen negative.(the nastier stuff) I live in a small town in AZ, went to Phoenix for treatment and shared so many of the things you are going through. Wow...

I am catching up on your past posts now, but keep up what you're doing because it's working.

You've officially been added on my prayer list!

(I never know which is correct, I had breast cancer or I have breast cancer) I am 7 years clear now.

ps...I will set up an account with a name.

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PinkyMcG said...

you are an amazing woman! thanks for being inspriational and reminding me how much your attitude influences decisions. you can do it! sending happy thoughts to you!

Gwen said...

Christa, your gift for humor and distilling life into words has blessed our family so much. We are all Christa junkies! Thank you for sharing your precious life and solid faith with the Haglunds. Go girl.
love gwen

The Davenports said...

Yay I am so glad to hear about the non-hereditary thing! Love ya, amazing woman!

Shelly said...

What a sweet post!! You seem pretty alert to me for the day after chemo-you are a rock star for even being able to talk. I hope that the new nausea meds are working and that your down time isnt too long. Thank you so much for your sweet comment-im glad to know that im not the only one with these crazy feelings. Im sorry you have to experience them as well, but with them come blessings of faith and strength and we will for sure come out stronger in the end. Im gonna go read my p. blessing and see if mine was foretold as well-maybe I was just being punished for all my wicked ways as a teenager =). Im happy that Bonnie is there to help you out this week-she is awesome-I just love that Johnson Family. How lucky you are to have married into such a family. Keep on keepin on-you will pull through this. Soon it will all be over and you will be at my point wondering where the last year of your life has gone. I am curious as to why your chemo got prolonged-send me an email when you feel up to it. Love ya!

mbd22 said...

I also just found your blog from NieNie's. I stayed up late last night reading. Bless you, and you are in my prayers. Will's wisdom is hysterical!

Sara said...

Christa, can I just say that you are one awesome lady? I mean it. I got the link for your blog from my mom, so I've been checking up on it when I'm procrastinate homework (my roommates and I love Will's Wisdom, btw). I really believe that you're a great example and I applaud you. You rock.