Paging Dr. House.....Has anyone seen Dr. House!!! No, seriously, where the heck is Dr. House???!!!

Here is a picture of my lovely eyes today....well, just one eye actually, but they both look the same...it's hard to take the picture yourself..

I know that most people out there have seen "House" and we pretty much understand how the whole thing works. He gets a white board or a big piece of paper or whatever, and they write all the weird symptoms down and then they cross things off, and have "ah ha" moments... and wallllaaa... the patient, who was knocking on deaths door moments before, is healed and they skip out of the hospital singing "Walking on Sunshine!" Or at least that is sort of how it works, you get the point!

And since I can't seem to figure out my body from one minute to the next, I wrote out my own Dr. House board..... but the only "ah ha" moment I got was that it is all a bad dream that will be over someday. How's that for clever..... Maybe I need to get a huge tennis ball to toss up in the air or something......or maybe it is my lack of medical training that is keeping me from solving this...no, it can't be that, it must be the huge tennis ball!!

Case in point: Yesterday, I had a TREMENDOUS day, a really good, healthy, happy, go-lucky wonderment of a day. Last night before I went to bed, I was trying to read, but I couldn't because the words were bluring and my eyes were watering. "Must be time for bed", I thought...... Morning bell rings at 6am and WOWZA!! I can't open my eyes!! Now, just so you understand better, I could "physically" open them just fine....but the moment I did it was like a million light beams burning in my eyes and they teared up so bad i had to instantly shut them. The older kids got themselves ready and then I told Sarah that I was going to go back to bed for just a little bit to "re-boot" my eyes. You know, like re-booting a computer....... an hour later Sarah walks in..." I didn't finish my homework last night mom!" I try to open my eyes........ and WOWZA!!!!! So, I have Sarah bring her homework into my room and she spells out all the directions for me and I tell her what she needs to do. Then she dresses herself, and I feel around while trying to tie her shoes and I take her down to the school. I threw on sunglasses and a hoodie and just let the tears stream down while I drove her the short distance to the school. The receptionist asked, "Oh, Sarah, are you sick?" and Sarah piped up, "Nope, mom just can't see today!" she points at the mom next to her that looks like she could be on a Wanted poster somewhere....hoodie, sunglasses...you get the picture! "Oh, and I dressed myself!"........ crud, please don't call CPS lady!!!

After Will and I go back home a lady in the ward came over to watch him so I could go over to the Clinic. When I walk in (they know me all too well over there), I tell them that I can't see and they get me right back. As I am walking back to the exam room, I hear one doctor talking to the other (you see, my ears still work just fine) and this is what I overhear...."So, did they give you your license back?" These are not words you EVER want to hear a doctor say.... and hey, maybe they were talking about a hunting license, or a marriage license, or even a drivers license....still not reassuring!

So I sit there and tell the doctor, (and yes, as luck would have it, I was seeing the one who "lost his license").. my symptoms. After only 30 seconds of not listening to me at all about my new chemo meds or the fact that I have had 3 different infections before on chemo... he proclaims, almost as if he has solved the world hunger problem..."You have allergies!!!" Too stunned at his brillance to even speak, he tells me that all I need are a few drops of over-the-counter eye drops and he starts to leave...... I try to tell him again that I am really suspectible to infections during chemo and........ but his ears hear..."blah, blah, blah, blah, she doesn't know what she is talking about, blah, blah"

As I go to the checkout to pay for my brilliant services, I grab another doctor by the arm and plead....."Can I talk to you?"

Becky Brimhall was with me, so I told her to distract Dr. A, and I followed the other doctor to a room. I told him the same stuff that I had just told Dr. A and I said, " I hate to go behind Dr. A's back, but I REALLY don't want to go blind or something because of a misdiagnosis." Dr. B tells me that it is definitely NOT allergies and that it is actually a reaction to my chemo medicine, Taxol. He tells me that Taxol is a really hard core poison and that my eyes are having trouble dealing with it, just like my bones did last week. So pretty much, my eyes are leaking poison!!! he! he! Anyways, he leaves for a minute and comes back with a special medicine to put in my eyes that stops the burning and is an antibiotic and they will heal my eyes. I want to hug him..... but I refrain.

As I leave, Dr. A sees me and says, "I found some allergy drops for your eyes". I just take them, and hand them to the other doctor. "Feed your plants with it or something"......

What an oddity cancer is....it doesn't fit any plans or pre-formed molds. Everybody's body deals with it differently. Everyone experiences different side effects on the same medicines as others. Simply weird!!!